Double your dating audio book
While e-mails and phone calls are not a substitute for actual dates, they are a good way to enhance what has been started in person.
Although people who date over long distances may take a little longer than conventional daters to reach the point at which they decide to marry, it isn't a good idea to artificially extend the length of the courtship simply because the man and woman haven't had so many face-to-face meetings.
It's a terrible idea to spend too much time together.
This is true whether you're meeting for the first time, or getting together again for a second, third, or even fifth meeting.
Even if they turn out to have compatible personalities, since they barely know each other spending so much time together may feel like torture.
Whether an individual travels to a distant city for a first date with someone they've "met" through an Internet dating service, a blind date that's been arranged through a friend or a matchmaker, or someone they've already started to see on a periodic basis because of the distance between them, we recommend that they limit how much time they spend together.
The first is that each of them is dating for the purpose of marriage, and the reason they are dating each other is to see if they will be able to develop a relationship that will ultimately lead to marriage.
The next point to clarify is that one of the parties (and it doesn't matter which one) is willing to relocate if the two of them decide to marry. You've coordinated your schedules, purchased the airline ticket, and arranged for accommodations once you arrive in your date's home city. Plan to intersperse dates with activities you will do on your own.
There isn't enough of a foundation between new dating partners for them to be comfortable with each other for longer periods of time.
In previous columns you've mentioned the idea of giving one another space during the dating process. Hank With relatively inexpensive air fares and even cheaper long-distance telephone rates (not to mention the blessings of e-mail), it is now easier than ever to negotiate a long distance courtship.
You recommend one date for 2 or 3 hours and then not another one for several days, and I've followed that advice. However, anyone considering long-distance dating should be aware of the inherent problems in dating a G. ("geographic undesirable") and how to avoid those problems.
No matter how long a couple has known each other, we caution them not to overdo the time they spend together, no matter how much they like each other and no matter how difficult or expensive it was for them to arrange the trip.
Otherwise, at some point during the visit one or both of them may begin to dread going out on another date, and may decide they feel this way because there is something wrong with the other person.
It seems impractical to sit around a foreign place and wait a few days in-between dates!